My mom always told me that it’s important to make a good first impression. Whether I’m making new friends or sending a first message on a dating app, I always want to have that perfect opening line. And while my social anxiety often gets in the way IRL, creating a persona for myself on the internet is my opportunity to shine — especially when it comes to creating a new account on a new platform. In my mind, joining a new social media app is a fresh slate. So, you can imagine my excitement, and anxiety, when it came time to post my first Thread.
ICYMI, Threads is the newest social media app on, well, everyone’s phones ATM. Similar to Twitter and Tumblr, Threads is a text-based app that allows users to share written posts alongside photos and videos to a timeline for followers, and other accounts, to like, repost, and respond to.
While many big celebs are joining in on the fun, Threads is still a relatively new app. So, if you’re anything like me and want to have that perfect, hilarious, follow-worthy first line, worry not: I’ve rounded up 20 funny ideas to use for your first Threads post, so you can officially become the funniest person on the app. (Well, besides Brittany Broski, obviously.)
- Mom, can you pick me up? I’m scared.
Seriously — this app is unhinged.
- OK, who has a crush on me?
I do! I do!
- What’d I miss?
Perfect if you’re late to downloading. (Seriously, do it RN.)
- Mother has arrived.
Your honor, mother is mothering.
- I am the most popular person on threads.
Manifest that energy, babe.
- Hey, B*tches.
Tongue-in-cheek and oh-so-perfect.
- is it hot in here? or just me?
Things are bout to get spicy with you on Threads — I know it.
- I’m too old for this.
As a 23-year-old, I agree.
- Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
- Hold the applause — I’m here.
I’ve been holding my breath waiting.
- Just here so I don’t get fined.
Honestly? Me too.
- Guys, pls don’t tell my mom about this.
I’ll take it to my grave.
- Warning: I’m about to get silly.
And I’m so glad you are.
- Don’t tell Twitter.
Cheater!
- Are you ready for it?
For the Swifties out here.
- I *will* become a Threads celebrity.
I’m manifesting this for you.
- What’s everyone’s favorite color?
Please don’t make me play an icebreaker right now.
- Let’s see how long this lasts.
As I said, I can’t keep up.
- the gang’s all here!
Woop, woop!
- NGL, I’m overwhelmed.
You’re not alone, babe.