For a PNM (potential new member) of a sorority, going through rush can be the most exciting — but also most stressful and nervewracking — part of the year. As a PNM, especially in the modern era of Pinterest-perfect expectations and oversharing on RushTok, the pressure of sorority recruitment can feel enormous.
As you are exploring the different houses and getting to know all the members so you can decide which sorority is the right fit for you, the sisters of each chapter are also doing the same — assessing each PNM to determine who would be an asset to their org and who they could see themselves bonding with. And, of course, that’s where a lot of the pressure comes in. You want to make a good impression, but you also want to be yourself, so that you have your best chance of ending up where you truly belong.
So, how do you do that? Well, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but you know what’s a little more easy to determine? What you should not do. Below, sorority rush coach Sloan Anderson, who guides PNMs through the process via her business, Getting The Bid, shares a few of the most common rush mistakes she sees PNMs frequently make — and how to avoid them.
Overthinking Your Outfits
Sure, looking good helps you to feel good. And while you may want a ‘fit that turns heads or shows your enthusiasm for joining the sorority, you don’t want to put so much of your effort into your looks and nothing else, because sororities take so much more into consideration. “A lot of people overthink the outfits — meaning they put all their attention on their outfits … [thinking] If I wear this color on this day, they’re going to know I want to join the sorority,” Anderson tells Her Campus. “But really, they’re looking at everything. They’re looking at your Instagram, your résumé — you know, everything.”
Not Knowing When to Ask a Question (Or Not Knowing What to Ask)
Yes, you want to ask questions to learn more, show your interest, and stand out, but it’s important to know when to ask a question, and to know what to ask instead of simply repeating back what the sorority members say to you. “The No. 1 mistake girls make is they hear the advice to ask questions, and they’re like, OK, I need to ask questions. But they don’t ever think about when to ask a question. Most girls will go in — and I know I did this at some sororities — and they will just ask the exact same question back [that the active just asked them],” Anderson says.
Anderson suggests thinking of creative ways to start a conversation versus parroting what’s already been said. This allows the conversation to flow naturally. Remember, the goal is to be remembered. “What girls don’t realize is the members want you to walk in and have so much fun,” she says. “They don’t want it to be awkward. They don’t want you to feel like it’s forced. So they have, like, 10 questions they want to ask every single girl. And if we only stick to those 10 questions, when they walk you out of the house, most of the sororities will go and vote, and they’re like, Oh gosh, who was Sloan? I don’t even remember her because nothing stood out from our conversation.”
Not Understanding Social Media Etiquette
With RushTok and college influencers becoming more and more popular, it’s important to determine whether posting on social media during rush is right for you — and if you do decide to post, whether you’re doing it for the right reasons. Further, Anderson suggests finding out what the culture around social media is at whatever school you’re going to, and even within the specific chapters you’re most excited about.
“At certain colleges, it is important to understand the culture of the sororities,” Anderson says. “So, at the University of Alabama, there are certain sororities that are really, really looking for genuine friendships. And with Alabama now becoming such an incredible university (it always has been) where a lot of girls are coming and thinking, like, This could take off my Instagram career, or, This can make me an influencer … certain sororities are looking at those videos [and asking,] Are you joining a sorority to become an influencer, or are you joining a sorority to have an incredible sisterhood, have the sorority experience, and then being an influencer is like an added bonus?” Ultimately, the choice to post or not is up to you; just make sure you’re aware of the risks. “make sure you’re posting for the right reasons — not just to gain 10,000 followers in two days, which is a great opportunity if that’s what you want, but some sororities might drop you just because of it.”