Here’s a message for the casting director who used their voodoo magic to gaze into my wet dreams and make a movie with that exact plot: Thank you. On June 13, every Gen Zer’s zaddy dreams are coming true because Materialists is hitting theaters, which features a love triangle with the love of my life, Chris Evans, and Baby Yoda’s DILF, Pedro Pascal. I am feral, both as a woman and as a Marvel fan, and I already have a list of MFM sex positions for a threesome racing through my brain.
All the TikTok ads I see are asking the same stupid questions. Who should she pick? Will she choose the not-so-polished poor guy who looks strikingly like Captain America? Or is the hunky rich guy her soulmate? How will Madame Web choose? Listen here, freaks. There’s only one answer I will accept: Both… at the same time.
But honestly, let’s zoom out. Whether Materialists delivers or not, the real fantasy here is the MFM threesome itself: the fantasy of being worshiped from both ends, the complex choreography, the endless possibilities. It’s exhilarating. As a sex and relationships aficionado myself, I felt inspired to contribute some MFM sex position ideas based on everything I hope this film delivers. And these positions aren’t just limited to those with penises: a strap-on or two can also prove useful in the bedroom. (Wink.)
So, whether we are all hot and bothered after the hopeful inevitable ménage à trois, or deeply disappointed by the lack thereof, at least we will have the tools to get it on, Materialists style, with these sex positions.
- Stacked cowgirl
Ready to open the back door… and the front door? This position is deceptively simple, but definitely best suited for those who are already comfortable with anal sex. The receiving partner straddles Partner One in a classic cowgirl position. As they lean forward, bringing their chest closer to Partner One, Partner Two kneals behind the pair to engage in anal penetration. This setup allows for close contact, eye contact, and all the sensations.
- Spit roast
You’ll need some serious flexibility to pull this one off. Partner One stands beside the bed, while Partner Two kneels on the mattress. The receiving partner sits facing Partner Two, who supports their thighs. The receiver then leans back into a deep arch, legs lifted and head hanging off the bed, perfectly positioned to orally pleasure Partner One while being penetrated by Partner Two. It’s intense, it’s acrobatics, and it’s full of stimulation for both ends.
- Princess treatment
This position puts the receiver at the center of all the action. Lying on their back with legs spread open, Partner One kneels between them and focuses on oral sex. Partner Two is next to the receiver, leaning in for deep kisses and providing full body care and attention. It’s a simple setup, and so effective: Two partners, tangled up in a web, each with a mission to fully pleasure the receiver.