This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Irvine chapter.
There’s a dreadful event that every child will go through someday. It’s that inevitable thing you never want to happen. Just thinking about it is too much. But one day, it’s going to happen. And I’m here to tell you, you’ll get through it just fine.
I lost my mom to a four-year battle with cancer when I was just eleven. Growing up without her meant navigating high school friendship fallouts, graduation, and now college, all without the person I thought would be by my side for it all. But as the years have passed, I’ve realized something both surprising and quietly healing: it’s not so bad.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy or that I don’t miss her every day—I do. But I’ve found unexpected ways to fill that absence with inspiration, connection, and strength. If this Mother’s Day feels heavy for you, I want to share a few things that keep me in high spirits.
When I miss my mom, I look to the women who’ve built something remarkable out of hardship — the CEOs, inventors, entrepreneurs, and writers who’ve shared their own stories of endurance, grit, and perseverance. Some grew up motherless, too; others just had to learn to be their role model. Reading their books, listening to their interviews, or following their work reminds me that womanhood doesn’t require one fixed path. These women remind me that the strength I need is already out there — and it can be passed down in unexpected ways.
When we talk about mothers, we often imagine one specific person. But I’ve come to realize that the spirit of motherhood — that support, guidance, fierce belief in your potential — can come from many places. For me, it came from the teachers who stayed after class and wrote me meaningful letters of recommendation, the older friends who helped me with my college applications, and the friend’s mom who looked out for me like I was her own.
These women didn’t try to replace my mom. But by showing up, by listening, by offering advice or just being there, they made the world feel less lonely. Sometimes, we already have mother figures in our lives — we just don’t always call them that.
3) FIND YOUR VERSION OF “MOTHER” IN MENTORS AND COMMUNITY
Growing up without a mom taught me to broaden the scope of supportive people I have to help me succeed. I now think of “motherhood” as something shared, spread out among the many amazing women I’ve met. My career mentors, professors, older successful college students, coworkers — they all carry a little piece of what I imagine a motherly role model to be.
This Mother’s Day, I’m not faced with feelings of sadness. Instead, I’m filled with gratitude for the women who’ve stepped in, often without knowing it, and helped me become the person my mom would have been proud of.
It’s not so bad. It’s different — but it’s full of love, too.