This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPRM chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
Every summer, the TSITP fandom splits in two: Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah. But let’s be honest—this isn’t actually about the brothers. It’s about Belly Conklin’s inability to make a decision without singlehandedly creating a Category 5 emotional disaster.
Now, in the name of fake science, let’s break down the evidence over coffee and a good chat:
1. Ambition: Doctor vs. “The Boys”
- Conrad: He’s literally in college grinding toward medical school. He’s got the “serious future husband energy.” You can picture him in a white coat, probably saving lives while looking annoyingly good.
- Jeremiah: He wants to be in Cabo. With the boys. That’s it. He’s also been spending his free time being his dad’s corporate golden child, which is… not exactly aspirational. Unless your dream is to marry into nepotism.
Winner: Conrad. Sorry, Jeremiah, but tequila shots in Cabo ≠ a five-year plan.
2. Relationship Summary
- Jeremiah: Let’s not forget—he cheated. Red flag, waving in the wind, parade-style. A scum bag ready to be picked up from the floor, the man once had a meltdown over a chocolate cake with mirror glaze and raspberry coulis like it was a life-or-death situation. Dessert should never cause that level of chaos.
- Conrad: Sure, he’s broody and sometimes emotionally constipated, but at least his “red flag” is… caring too much? A classic case of misunderstood sad boy—and honestly, we’ve all written that Wattpad fanfic in our heads. Isn’t it in our nature to believe that we could redeem someone else’s son?
Winner: Conrad. At least he’s not crying over dessert.
3. Emotional Availability (aka Who’s Actually Ready for Belly’s Drama)
- Conrad: Yeah, he can be closed-off. But he’s been through it—family illness, grief—learning to show up in a world that’s falling down, and he’s learning to show up despite it. He doesn’t need therapy as much as Belly does, TBH.
- Jeremiah: Jeremiah is fun, flirty, and the human equivalent of a golden retriever… until the second he doesn’t get his way. Then suddenly it’s guilt trips, tantrums, and the silent competition of “who loves Belly more.” Spoiler: no one wins.
Winner: Conrad. Because at least his mood swings come with depth, not drama sprinkles.
4. The Belly Factor
Let’s be real: Belly is the problem.
- She bounces between brothers like it’s a summer sport.
- She blames Conrad for not opening up, but then ignores the fact Jeremiah has more red flags than the Mayagüez traffic lights.
- And instead of just picking therapy, she picks chaos. Every. Single. Time.
- She’s addicted to building and destroying any potential good thing.
Winner: No one. Not Conrad. Not Jeremiah. Definitely not us, the viewers. Belly’s indecisiveness deserves its own spin-off called The Summer I Gaslit Two Brothers.
Final Verdict
Conrad > Jeremiah. It’s not even close.
- He’s driven.
- He’s loyal (even when he screws up).
- He’s literally trying to be a doctor.
Meanwhile, Jeremiah is out here cheating, crying over raspberry coulis, and booking Cabo flights with the boys.
But the truth is, the Fisher brothers both deserve better. Because in the end, Belly doesn’t need Conrad or Jeremiah. She needs therapy.