This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Carleton chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
In the era of being nonchalant, I think we’ve over-exercised the idea of being “cool.” Most people are genuinely terrified of being embarrassed or seen doing something silly, cringe, or weird. Judgment, specifically negative, has become normalized through social media.
When our lives are constantly being posted and watched, it’s hard not to worry about how we’re perceived. Gen Z, especially, has only ever known life with social media. From a young age, we’ve been online, being perceived, judged, and admired, and at the same time, we play a role in judging everyone else.
From every angle, society tells us to work hard and try our best. But now everyone has a window into your life. When you actually put effort into improving your résumé, building skills, or gaining experience, it can be seen as “too much” if there are no immediate results.
The same thing happens in relationships; you go on dates, meet new people, put yourself out there, and if nothing comes of it, you’re suddenly seen as desperate or as trying too hard. Friendships work the same way. You join clubs, talk to people in class, make an effort, and if it doesn’t instantly turn into something solid, you’re labelled a try-hard.
Over time, the fear of being seen trying starts to hold us back from real results. Especially in the age of social media, Gen Z is so focused on how we’re perceived that we forget how short and fleeting life actually is. Most of these judgments won’t matter when it’s all said and done.
This is clearly evident in nightclub culture. Everyone says the dance scene is dead, that people aren’t really present anymore, and that everyone has their phones out. No one wants to look silly on the dance floor, even though that wasn’t something people worried about 10 or 20 years ago. Now, everyone is scared of looking stupid or “cringe,” when in reality, no one actually cares.
Don’t be mysterious. Don’t be nonchalant. Don’t try so hard to be “cool.” If you spend your life trying to seem effortless and detached, you miss everything else that’s happening, which is life. Post the photos. Go on the trip. Apply for the dream job. Learn the new skill. When life becomes content, it turns into a performance, and when performing feels like a chore, living starts to feel like one too.