I used to be self conscious about going to the bathroom in public. I don’t like the idea of other people hearing, or God forbid, smelling my private business. But when a girl has got to go, she’s got to go, especially when the coffee hits, and sometimes pooping at school is unavoidable. So, without further ado, here are a few toilets on campus which make the bathroom experience somewhat tolerable.
- Norlin Library
It’s no secret Norlin Library is a prime study spot on campus, but few people realize the silent stacks pair with equally silent bathrooms. The first floor bathroom is pretty crowded, but the higher you go, the more empty the bathrooms become. My personal favorite bathroom in Norlin is on the third floor, but you’ll have to try it out yourself for the full experience.
- Guggenheim Geography
If your bowel movements depend on the atmosphere, I highly recommend exploring Guggenheim and other buildings near Old Main. These bathrooms are a blast from the past: with colorful tiles and bright windows a Guggenheim poop is always a good one. While busier than some of the other bathrooms on campus, if you are near the Hill and need to drop the kids off at the pool, make a beeline for the vintage stalls in Guggenheim.
- Rec Center Locker Rooms
If your preworkout hits super hard before leg day, and you don’t want to explode a stall on the first floor, head to the locker rooms. With countless stalls and isles of lockers, I almost never encounter another person during my gym bathroom visits. Bonus points because the locker rooms already reek of armpits so last night’s curry won’t be the overpowering scent in this toilet.
4. Upper Levels of UMC
The UMC, while usually crowded, has a few hidden bathrooms. Ignore the temptations on the first and second floor, instead take the stairs or elevator to one of the upper levels and suddenly you will find yourself in a giant bathroom and be able to pick your favorite stall. Then after you go, you can unload your backpack and study in solitude.
5. Muenzinger Basement
For my fellow psychology majors, I recommend taking a pit-stop in the Muenzinger basement if nature ever calls when on campus. Even though there are two to three stalls per bathroom, I never struggle to find an empty room to poop in solitude.
One thing I love about CU is the amount of bathrooms. There are gender neutral stalls, wheelchair accessible rooms, free sanitary products, and artsy toilets. I have done a fair amount of toilet exploration and have discovered various private bathrooms. So, if you feel anxious about going to the bathroom in public, or a part of the frequent pooper club, this article should hopefully ease some tension. Don’t let needing to go prevent you from succeeding in school!
