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As the least sexy holiday of the year comes to a sad close with full bellies and happy hearts, it’s a chance to reflect on another year of good food…and even better company. So here is my extremely official and on-point list of what sex position is your secret (or not so secret) based on your first pick at the Thanksgiving table.
Turkey: Doggy Style
Starting, the turkey is the strong centerpiece of any classic Thanksgiving meal, much like the position. You probably understand the importance of protein, or you just like the taste of meat, who knows? The filling dish matches perfectly with the filling position due to the powerful structure they both portray.
Mac and Cheese: Missionary
This classic comfort food can always be found on everyone’s plates, just as missionary can be found in every sex life. It’s warm, comforting, and easy, as it always hits the spot. In many ways, the dish is also a safe option; if the new and questionable food tastes like a disaster, you will always have mac and cheese to fall back on.
Cranberry Sauce: 69!
You either love it or hate it, but cranberry sauce is quite a funky favorite. For this dish and position, you like a sweet taste. Whether it is homemade or from the can, it works to add a little balance to the otherwise savory dinner plate.
Stuffing: Speed Bump
The carb load galore of the holiday is completed with some good ‘ole stuffing. It may be a little dry if you make it the wrong way, but it sure can be fluffy. If you head straight for the stuffing, then you definitely like bread (and cake).
Sweet Potato Casserole: Reverse Cowgirl
A little something sweet for the ladies, the delicious casserole. For the final dish, it takes the ordinary and overlooked vegetable and completely reverses it. So, on one day a year, it puts the pleasantly sugared marshmallows on top.
So whether you have a Thanksgiving plate as colourful as the autumn leaves, or one as bland as the candy at the bottom of your grandmother’s purse, there is always a way to throw in a new recipe and spice up the holiday.